


The Faithful And The Low

by jb_slasher



Series: The Inevitability Of It All [3]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Borussia Dortmund, Community: 31_days, Czech National Team, German National Team, Infidelity, M/M, UEFA Euro 2004, author is not fluent in German
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-14
Updated: 2006-07-14
Packaged: 2017-12-21 10:03:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/899013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jb_slasher/pseuds/jb_slasher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>He knows he does wrong. He knows but he can't stop it from happening.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Faithful And The Low

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 31_days, July 14, prompt: "I can't stop hungering for otherness."

The first day he's with the team in Aveiro. Tomas is in Porto, not on the bench, but on the pitch, doing his best for his country. Sebastian warms up with Basti, runs up the length on their side and can't get his mind off things. The coach sees it, sees that he's not stable. That's why he stays on the bench and Basti replaces Schneider. That's the first chance he misses because of Tomas.

(That night he lets Petr fuck him on his bed. Afterward, Tomas feels like a whore.)

 

Four days later he's switched towns with Tomas but their game is on a different stadium. Four days and he hasn't heard from Tomas. So he takes comfort in the thought that tonight Tomas is playing on the same pitch that he was on four days ago. Except he wasn't _on_. This is his second chance. He starts on the bench again but he's determined to warm up good and concentrate on the game. Again Basti is beside him; again they sprint up and down the sidelines side by side. Again Basti replaces Schneider. That's his second chance missed and he doesn't understand why.

(He has rug burn from where Vladi took him. Tomas feels dirty. For punishment, he takes a long shower that burns all over. The tears disappear down the drain with the hot water. He knows he does wrong. He knows but he can't stop it from happening.)

 

Not a word from Tomas for over a week. Sebastian doesn't know what to think. He can't stop thinking about what he's done now, what's wrong, why, how? He doesn't get a third chance. He just sits on the bench and stares, thinks and thinks but can't figure it out. Tomas is not even on the bench. Has something happened that he should know about? First he asks from Poldi but he just shrugs. When he pleads Miro to tell him, all he gets is "tut mir Leid, ich weiß nicht." He loses all hope. Poldi gets in for Frings, then Miro for Hamann. Basti comes off four minutes from time and comes straight to sit next to Sebastian. He can't hear what Basti asks him, he's lost inside his own head, looking for answers he knows are not there. He _needs_ answers.

(He tells them his back is sore, that he can't play. They send him to talk to the Doc who tells him it'd be wise to pass this game just to avoid possible consequences. So he stays at the hotel and watches the game on TV. When he sees Sebastian for the first time, he turns it off. He feels the guilt all the more. Plasil finds him that night and Tomas doesn't argue. Jaroslav's touches are almost like Sebastian's. Tomas can forget the slight difference in height and it's almost just like it is with Sebastian. For those few moments, he can forgive himself.)

 

(The next morning he knows Sebastian is going home. That night he hooks up with two Danish guys. Jesper and Jon take turns. Jesper is good, but Jon gives it harder, faster. He bleeds afterward.)

 

(A week after Sebastian has left, they lose to Greece. And it's not because Tomas let Dellas fuck him.)

 

(He goes back home and knows nothing is fine.)


End file.
